HEAVY SIGH

When I first started to write this post I was super excited and happy but like always when I get on a high a low is quick to follow.
I'll start with the high: A few times a year the officers go through simunitions training (this is were running live scenarios of situations that can occur on the job with guns and simulated ammo, if the scenario calls for it just like as if it was really happening). My fellow traffic officers and I play the bad guy/victim depending on what is needed. This always gives me a strong adrenaline rush (which is the closest to being high I ever plan to get, admittedly I really like the feeling). Along with a couple of great days of learning, acting, and basically having the most fun I've ever had on a job (not to mention the great stories I have to tell now); several of the officers that I highly respect and look up to paid me some of the highest complements that I could ever hope to receive. One of which coming from a Sgt. who if I ever become an officer I hope to be like, he told me how much he appreciated all the hard work I do and that I am one d*mn good shooter. I can not express how great that made me feel. And several of the officers commented on my hard work and expressed how much they appreciated it. For a long time now I have felt like no one at work cared if I even showed up or even noticed the hard work that I put forth every day. But knowing that my fellow officers do notice really lit a fire under me to keep pushing myself and to keep giving my all.

Now for the low: Remember how I said I didn't feel noticed well that feeling is now back and on top of that I feel the administration is trying to push me out. Well we all got "raises" today. I say "raises" because my income only increased by a few cents. Were my fellow traffic co-workers increased by a great deal. I've been 'grounded" since Dec. '09 and no matter what I do or how hard I work there is no signs of this punishment ever being lifted. Just another example of the administration trying to get rid of me. And the grounding is paying a toll on my fellow co-workers too. They are having to cover areas that I should be working but can't because of this grounding.

So there you have it, my life in a nut shell. For every good there is always a bad, for every high there is always a low. I will still try to look for the silver lining but as far as finding one at work.... I've given up. This is not a phrase I use often and I don't give in easily but I just don't know what else to do.
God I turn it all over to you.